....

so you know how you joke around with someone but they take it seriously.....i hate that....and you gotta know me to understand when i'm joking and when i'm telling the truth.....most of the time i'm joking but i'm not gunna keep the truth from someone either....i'm going to speak whats on my mind and if you don't like it then don't listen i really don't care......but don't sit there and get mad at me because you don't wanna hear what i have to say...i speak the truth and whats on my mind....some people take it the wrong way but my closest friends respect the fact that i will tell them when they are in the wrong as they would do for me.....so sorry if i offend or make you mad in any way....i don't mean too its just how i am....

the need to relax

This past week or so, especially this weekend, i have been sick....not just your normal flu either.....when i get super stressed i get sick....mom gets worried some days because i get this way...she tells me that i'm killing myself from the inside out......its whatever...i just can't stop worrying about her or everything else...i want everyone around me happy even if its at the expense of mine...thats the reasone why i didn't stop doing cheerleading..i wanted everyone to be happy that we didn't have to start over...now i'm suffering the consequences....i tell everyone it doesn't hurt or its getting better but its really not...it's not that i'm lieing about anything i just don't want everyone worrying about me.....i just want everyone to know that i stayed for the team and i didn't want to let them down.....but i constantly worry about everyone else and i just them to be happy

Secret Crush

Usually i'm very open about who i like and who i'm crushing on to my closets friends but this time i have kept my crush to myself for a very long time....i like him but i just don't know what everyone would say if i told anyone....he does go to our school and i see him everyday...everytime i see him i just smile because he is really funny and seems like a fun person to hang out with...but i know also like every guy out there he can be a real jerk...hmmmmmm don't know what to do

Bad day

Today was a bad day...i just don't want to deal with things anymore...mom had a doctor appointment today and i have been worried all day long...then my best friends are being jerks to me and ugh.....well i don't know know what to do?!?!!!!

scared

Not many people know whats going on in my life and i like to keep it that way but i will say this....i'm going through one of the hardest scariest times in my life.....i have my friends and family to support me and to help me and my immeditate family and i thank you all for that....i never thought something like this would happen to me but it did.....i just hope everything will get better and be ok...i'm glad i have such great friends to help me

Decision

ok so i had made my decision on cheerleading....i have decided to stick it out and battle through the pain....i hope everyone can understand thou i'm doing this for the sake of the squad and for myself.....physically i can't handle all the stress that cheerleading puts on my body but not cheering would destroy me mentally....i love cheering, i never thought i would, but i do...its my life and its who i am...not matter how good we are or how bad we stink, its a big part of my life.....even though i'm sticking this out i'm still in a whole butt load of pain like i go home and cry every night because it hurts so bad....and you know what?...i'm ok with that because i didn't let my team or myself done for quitting.....this has been one the hardest week of my life and i'm glad its finally over and i'm totally ready for homecoming to begin :D....also ready to show everyone how good we have gotten :)